No time like now

Let's just pretend for my own light heartedness that I haven't negleccted my blog for the past ohh...gee lets see here, 5 months.  5 months?!  Wow, I am really bad at this gig.  I thought about doing this awhile ago because I read other ladies blogs just basically about whatever and I thought to myself "wow, I like to write, they write about whatever goes on in their days and it's sorta like reality TV (which is a dirty little secret of mine) and look at all the wonderful attention and support they have."  Which then, I proceeded to think, "I COULD do that, I like to write and it would be fun to meet people since I'm now starting this 'stay at home mom gig' and it would be fun at the same time.  Well friends here I am 5 months later with no posts and I realize maybe I could be a little more dilligent about tending to this blog.  Not promising anything becase let's face it, it may not happen knowing my track record but I would LIKE to start updating a little more frequently.

With that being said, let's talk about how life has been since we came back from Misssissippi.  We've gotten stationed at our first official duty station and are now living in a great city of Tucson, AZ.  I know what you're thinking, 'isn't she from Phoenix' and the answer is YES my friends we are!  So all of that 'I don't know if the AF is such a good idea and concerns about leaving friends and family while they were worthwhile concerns at the time, thankfully are much easier to attend to now being sent two hours away from where we origionally started.  My honeypoo may not be as excited I was to get the news but ladies and gentlemen I surely did my little jig right there in the middle of the library on base in Mississippi when we found out for sure this is where we'd be. And it turned out to be the most perfect scenario (with maybe the only way of trumping this was to get stationed back at Luke which is like a 10 min drive from where we lived in Waddell and I could have kept my house).  Tucson is great because I can drive back home virtually whenever I want, and they can come here.  My MIL is wonderful because usually ever other week she drives down and stays with us for a few days before she has to go back to work, which is amazing to have the help with the boy and also gives Michael and I some time to ourselves too.  Win win.

I've made some new friends since being down here too, and one girl in particular actually went to the same high school and the hubby and I, and actually was in my hubbies grade and he knew her.  Small world.  Whats more she has a daughter who is Karson's age and her hubby is also AF, so we have A LOT in common which is nice.

This past weekend my sister in law flew down to AZ for some wedding planning and we got to spend time with the family.  The wedding is going to be just lovely and I actually also got asked to me her maid of honor, which is quite an honor.  Karson will be the ring berror and we can't wait to see him get all dressed up in his little tux and walk down the aisle.  I heart smiles just thinking about that moment and my little boy getting to be apart of something so special.  After we ran around for a few days planning the wedding my gracious MIL offered to talk my boy for a few days and let the hubby and I go back home to be alone.  I just want to say: I don't feel badly about this!  It is extraordinary to have such strong family support with him not only for our sanity or need to be alone, but also for the memories and joy he brings to his grandparents and great grandparents.  Sometimes I'll talk to friends and they'll ask how he's doing and I'll mention he's staying with his gramma for a few days and I'll get the "ohhh really?  Wow, don't you miss him?!"  I hate that.  Of course I miss him, he's my son I feel that goes without being said, but how wonderfully refreshing it is to have a few days alone with your hubby again, or by yourself.  Karson is one lucky little boy to have grandparents who love him so and want to spend time with him for a few days and build a strong relationship with him and memories.  And you know what?!  The other night, Michael had to work swings and went to work at 3 in the afternoon and after he left do you know what I did?!  NOTHING!  Nothing I tell you!  I sat around and watched TV and read a book and did a few loads of laundry.  Then at 8:00 I decided I would run to Target because I could ALONE, and when I was done there I went to Panda and contemplated eating outside on their patio alone because it was nice outside.  I didn't feel bad leaving Mike with the monkey because he was playing with his grandparents.  No ladies and gentlemen, I DO NOT feel bad for leaving my boy with my loving family to get to have 48 hours of some serious R&R.  How extremely blessed we all are to have each other.

My monkey is turning one folks in 2 days!  Can you believe it!?  Ohh I going to cry just thinking about it!  I wouldn't say if flew by but it has gotten away from us.  His birthday party is this weekend and we are gearing up for quite the shindig.  A first birthday is a biggin!  More on that later...goodnight!

Weekend Christmas extravaganza!

Today is going to be a great day. I can feel it in my bones. The past few weeks I've been struggling to get Karson to sleep normally again. He's always been a pretty good sleeper, sleeps usually about 12 hours a night. He wakes up usually twice a night to eat but goes back down pretty easily so it's never been too bad. Recently however since we've come to Mississippi (and he's been sleeping in his Pack n Play) he hasn't been able to get his groove back. He wakes up and doesn't want to go back to sleep, it's bright in the room, he rolls and rolls in there and the whole thing like shakes. We couldn't fit his crib in the car when we came out and this is only temporary so the Pack N Play was it. I thought we might have some issues with it because lets face it, his crib is MUCH more comfy and stable but you do what you can. Anyway, last night was an exception and it was AWESOME! He went down as usual around 8 and slept till about 4, I got him up and fed him, then it was back down no problem (again normal) the second time is usually the difficult one. He woke up at 6 I fed him a little he really wasn't too interested, I tried getting him to go back down and he would NOT go to sleep. I kept thinking "oh no, I really don't want to get up at 6 this morning"! Finally around 7 he went back down and slept till...(drum roll please.....) 8:45! I would do this every morning! Even if I'm up for an hour between 6-7 if he goes back down and sleeps till quarter till 9! We're leaving in like 4 more weeks to go back home and it's going to be awesome to get him back in his crib on his regular mattress! I can't wait.

Being here has definitely had it's challenges, I am doing this mostly by myself and this point.

Michael gets out of school most days at 3:45 and has to go back 'bout 6:30. After I pick him up drive back home, make dinner, and talk about our days he's gone again and I have to finish Karson's end of the day routines solo. The weekends are our saving graces, after school on Friday he has the whole weekend home. Doesn't have to go back till around 5 on Sunday evenings. I realize it's not ideal and some of you are probably thinking 'that's still not a lot of time!' and you're right, it's not. But after being away from Karson and myself and only being able to communicate through letters in the mail for 8 and a half weeks, it feels like Christmas when he's here. And that my friends is worth the week nights, the getting up early, and the missing home. Because I walk in the room and I get moments like this:

I walk into the room and my heart smiles. My two boys together again, playing on the bed. To me, this is what it's all about. My family being back together again. Being able to see one another and interact in person. I'll take being together over doing it with grandparents

any day of the week.

My sweet boys at dinner the other night:

Whatever you do: do it with a smile in your heart and be thankful for what you are given. Get out what you put in! Make the memory! Have a great day!

Reconnect

I have reconnected! Finally I have MY life back again in more ways than one and I feel I have reconnected to the world!

We made it to Biloxi! Pictures to follow I promise. It feels weird being in a totally new part of the country, people move so S L O W L Y over here. Talking, driving, walking, anything and everything they do they do it like they have all day to get it done. It's a totally different way of life, and a little nice to sorta slow down sometimes and enjoy the sunshine, but also irritating when you go out to eat and it literally takes the server a good 5 minutes to bring you back the knife you asked for. I'm sure this town was much more before the hurricane but in all honest it's not bad now...the weather has been sorta rainy and chilly but I love how close everything is to the water. I've heard the water isn't the nicest though because we're surrounded by the land so it never gets a chance to circulate and bring in the new tide, but it's been so chilly I haven't really noticed. Although, the cable guy came in today and turned on our TV and internet for the apartment here and told me about a place thats about an hour away that has really nice beaches and stuff. So that's a trip to go see and do.

I feel like I'm finally starting to get my life back again. I had forgotten how much I missed doing things my own way and in my own space. It's funny how much you can adapt when things change. Life was different in every aspect when Michael left and we adapted and changed and made the best of the situation we were handed, but now that our life in getting back on track I realize how much I truly missed US. It's so great to have Michael back around again, and I don't care if it's only a few hours at night during the week and weekends (which it is at this point) it's better than only hearing from him a few times a day over the phone or not at all. I'll take it, I'll take all of it and be grateful.

Write more later, little man awaits. I hear him calling his mama from the other room in his bed, moving around playing, talking, getting a little frustrated because he's probably stuck on his belly again and can't find his fephy. Awww...little love of mine :)

'bout time

It's about time! About time for my life to get back on track and get my family back together! Michael and I knew in the beginning of this journey that the road we decided to take would lead us in different directions for awhile. But we also knew that it would only be temporary and oh my goodness am I ready for this to become a thing of the past! Don't get me wrong, it's actually been pretty nice being around our family for the past 3 months but it's high time we get back to us. Back to our our relationship and way of doing things, and back to home...

Ya know I'm a worrier, really I am. I worry all the time about random stupid things, but you know what I worry most about? I worry about Karson and how he will adjust. I worry about going up to Wickenburg after I've been at my moms for awhile because I worry about all the animals up there or what I'm going to do to occupy my time because lets face it no one wants to have baby patrol 24/7. But every time I make it up there...things just have a way of working themselves out. Weird. Anddd...I worry after being in Wicki for awhile about coming back to my moms... Karson doesn't have his crib there, he's so comfortable in Wicki, there isn't as much structure at my moms because we're always out running around. Blah, blah, blah. And ya know what? I get here, and my mom steps up to the plate in more ways than I ever could have imagined and guess what Karson is FINE, he's more than fine he enjoys spending time with both sets of grandparents. How incredibly blessed and loved my little man is by so many people it's amazing.

Now I worry about going to Biloxi, what if I get homesick, what if Karson doesn't do as well, what I'm alone with the baby ALL the time... I know this isn't going to be back to NORMAL for us yet, I know this is a stepping stone for Michael and I but that's it, I'm DONE. I am determined to make the best out of this situation and rock the hell out of Mississippi. Talk about sucking the marrow out of life, you betcha! That's going to be me for the next 3 months I will not sit around that apartment and wait... Karson and I will explore! And make new friends and find new thing to do, like baby gymboree and go have lunch at the beach because guess what? We CAN, holla! And when Michael is home it's going to be even better, but when he's not I will not stop living.

Rachel Ray better watch her back, this momma is A'COMIN!


And it's about dang time!