A new routine

Gosh, I kick my self in the butt for this taking so dang long. See, this is what I do to myself I start this wonderful thing (writing again) because it makes me happy and it's cool to have other people read it and follow along with me but then life happens and I get busy and instead of taking 10 mins to write when I should have I let it slip by and now there's just a billion things I wanna write about.

First things first, Karson was born! Sept. 6th at 1:35 in the morning. Those of you who don't have a calendar or remember what day the 6th was....it was a TUESDAY. Yea, we got checked into the hospital on Sunday. Talk about a LONG labor. To give you the short story, they (my dr.) wanted me to go into the hospital on Sunday to have my blood pressure checked because when I was in his office the Friday before it was a little high and they didn't want to wait till over the weekend to have it checked again. So we went in on Sunday just to check me out, didn't think I'd be staying so I didn't bring my bag I had packed or anything. They checked me and decided my blood work didn't look to hot, so they wanted me to stay to get induced. I didn't want to stay, but they "strongly recommended it" so I stayed. I was just turning 38 weeks the next day (Monday) and I didn't think my body was ready; I was right.

They started me on those gel packs to soften my cervix because I was not dilated. Those take 3 hours a piece, I went through 3 of them and still nothing so after 9 hours of gel packs, they decided to give me a stronger gel. This one lasts for 12 hours. So Monday afternoon at noon (after 21 hours of gel) they check me again and yep now I'm 1 cm. dilated and and finally the cervix is soft. So now we can start the pitocoine to try and get me more dilated. They get my pitocine up to 24 and I'm basically having contraction on top of contraction for till about midnight on Monday (yes I had an epidural in between there too so it wasn't too bad) they come back in at midnight to check me and again I'm still 1 cm. dilated. No progress, none. They offer to break my water and let me contract over night to see if by morning something will have happened. I asked them what the likelihood of anything significant happening would be, and they said not much because by this point it had taken this long and I was progressing EXTREMELY slowly. So I asked about a c-section, they said it would probably be best. Honestly, I was so tired by this point I just wanted to be done. I didn't want to wait anymore, I wanted it over and I wanted to hold my little boy by that point. So they got dressed and rolled me down there and by 1:35 Tuesday morning I had myself my handsome little man.

And this was this was the result...

Perfect. Absolutely perfect. My little angel came out beautiful and healthy and right on time too. With a little intervention of course. And although I was a little beyond sore and had a hard time moving around a whole lot we sure had a lot of visitors who came acallin' to meet the little man. In which case he happily obliged.

We stayed in the hospital till Friday, 3 more long days and then they finally let us come home. And it's been A LOT easier since. We've gotten into somewhat of a routine with our little man, and although Michael went back to work after about a week and a half of being home we both enjoy our time with him. Everyday I feel like I learn more about him and from him, what he likes what works better and everyday I feel like our life at home becomes a little more normal and routine. And I love routines :)

Big changes!

It's incredible how quickly things can change in literally a week. A week! A freaking week! I went to see the Dr. last week and we were right along schedule truckin' as usual to the due date that was approaching but I still had a little time to mentally prepare for. I go in there today and BAM! Just like that I'm told my blood pressure is high and we may need to induce as early as (get ready) TOMORROW. Yea I said it, tomorrow for god's sake. What the heck? Here I am with a house that has not been cleaned the way I want it, the yard a freaking mess, and the swing and pack n play still in BOXES. Lord almighty! Long story short, they took my blood and said they'd call tomorrow with the results and what our plan will be. I ran home, called Mike we ate dinner (thanks to my amazing mother in-law who took care of everything) and relaxed for about 20 mins until my in-laws left and have been working ever since! I am happy to report now that the swing and pack and play are now set up and in there rightful locations in the house. Michael is taking tomorrow off work to clean up around here and get all the other last minute details I'm freaking out about taken care of.

Bad news: When the Dr. checked me today he said I wasn't dilated, I mean like barley anything at all. Which in turn means that if I do need to go in tomorrow or Saturday there is a real chance that even with the drugs they give me and the gel I won't be able to dilate enough to have the baby vaginally like I wanted. This again makes me freak out. I've kinda prepared i.e. thought about this during my pregnancy. The facts in no particular order are as follows: 1) I'm a smaller girl, with a smaller frame, Michael is well... large, he has a big head. So just logically it may not work, I may just be too small. 2) My mom had a C-section with me for the same reason-she just never dilated enough to push me out. 3) One of my best friends is having a wedding literally like a month after our due date, that I'M IN! As if recovering from a regular birth isn't bad enough let's tack on a C-section and an impending date I need to be healed and looking okay for in to order be ready by so soon afterwords. 4) I want to breastfeed! I have always wanted that bond people talk about and being able to provide for him in that special way. What if I'm so sore from a dang C-section or whatever I end up having complications and can't. I would be really upset (like really upset).

Goodness sake, I could really drive myself crazy thinking about all of these hypothetical what-if scenarios. I logically I know there is nothing I can do at this point to change any of it, it's in God's hands now. Whatever is planned for us will happen and I just need to do my best to rely on him and his capable hands. But then that only quiets the mind for a few minutes and then I start to worry again... Seriously. I need to take my own advise here. Tomorrows plan: wake up with Michael early in the morning and finish everything, call the Dr. or wait for him to call me (whichever comes first) and move forward.